kids raising

kids raising

 How do we deal with situations that occur daily with children?

Enough with everything that the child flounderes or falls and opens up in tears, you run and say: "Bad, oh chair, bad. That messes him up ?, OK, I will hit you hard, bad" ... and you hit him and let the child hit him.

 This situation is a cultural heritage that teaches the child the following:

 1- He breathes his anger by beating, so you are not surprised when he gets angry at his brother so he hits him, you are the one who taught him.

 2- He learns that when he feels hurt, he will take revenge for himself. He will not be able to deal with the reality that happened to him without revenge .. So you would not be surprised if his brother hit him unintentionally - or with intent - and hit him or struck him without understanding.

 3- By learning the backlash.  For a while, he will use this violence as a permissible verb because you are the one who taught him to him.

 4- By learning to project his problem to others (meaning instead of what he takes his mind and be held accountable, the chair is wrong, it is Mausaloush !!) and he has the beginning of the formation of the character who does not admit its mistake even in front of itself!

 Ok, what is the alternative? 

 Contain the child and appreciate his feelings with interest .. This is all that he needs, and for free you directly use the distraction method "with the bird" on the contrary.

 1- Describe what happened and describe the child's feelings with interest, but without exaggeration, so that you were not deluded .. “You were running and sliding and fell into a rigid fall on the ground .. You didn’t have a strong stiffness ..

 2- Be patient with him when he is given, and then you can discuss the cause of the accident, so that it does not recur, without the method of mourning, but in the manner of reporting, "Drink slips on the ground ... you can take it off so that you do not go again."

 3- Sibah exposes his feelings and does not underestimate them, on the contrary, he helped him express his feelings and what represses them.  That is, by learning what he underestimates the pain of someone, because you are changing him, like his long life, in observing and respecting his feelings and his pains.

 4- After a while, if there is a long time in the Ayyat, try to understand from him. Why is he still hurting .. “You are still in pain? .. and you are not upset because you fell? What do you think I go with you to wash and drink and drink water so that you can calm and come back and complete another game? Or we do such a thing  With some..."

 تربية الأطفال 

كيف نتعامل مع مواقف تحدث يوميا مع الأطفال؟

كفى كل ما الطفل يتخبط أو يقع ويتفتح في البكاء تجري تقول: "سئ يا كرسي يا سئ. كده تخبطه؟، طيب أنا هاضربك جامد يا سئ".. وتضربه وتخلي الطفل يضربه.

الموقف ده موروث ثقافي بيعلم الطفل الآتي:

1- إنه ينفس عن غضبه بالضرب، فماتستغربش لما بعد كده يغضب من أخوه فيضربه، انت اللي علمته.

2- بيتعلم إنه لازم لما يحس بالأذى ينتقم لنفسه، ما ينفعش يتعامل مع الواقع اللي حصل له بدون انتقام.. فماتستغربش لو أخوه خبطه من غير قصد - أو بقصد - فضربه أو زقُّه بدون تفاهم.

3- بتعلمه رد الفعل العنيف. وقدام شوية هايستخدم العنف ده كفعل مسموح لأنك انت اللي علمته له.

4- بتعلمه إسقاط مشكلته على غيره (يعني بدل ماهو ياخد باله ويحاسب، الكرسي غلطان إنه ماوسعلوش!!) وديه بداية تكوين الشخصية اللي مش بتعترف بخطأها حتى قدام نفسها!

طيب إيه البديل؟

احتوي الطفل وقدّر مشاعره باهتمام.. هو ده كل اللي هو محتاجه، وبلاش تستخدم مباشرة أسلوب الإلهاء "بص العصفورة" بالعكس تماما..

1- اوصف اللي حصل واوصف مشاعر الطفل باهتمام لكن بدون مبالغة عشان ما توهموش.. "انت كنت بتجري واتزحلقت فوقعت وقعة جامدة على الأرض.. معلش بتوجعك جامد قوي ..انت اتخضيت كمان.. تعالى ندلّكها عشان تخف".. وتحضنه.

2- تصبر عليه لما يهدى وبعدين ممكن تناقش سبب الحادث، عشان ما يتكررش، من غير أسلوب التبكيت لكن بأسلوب التقرير "الشراب بيزحلق ع الأرض.. ممكن تقلعه عشان ماتقعش تاني.

3- سيبه يخرّج مشاعره وما تستخفش بيها، بالعكس ساعده يعبر عن مشاعره وما يكبتها. كده بتعلمه ما يستخفش بأوجاع حد، لأن انت بتديله مثل طول عمره في مراعاة واحترام مشاعره وأوجاعه.

4- بعد شوية لو لسه مطوِّل في العياط حاول تفهم منه هو ليه لسه بيعيط.. "انت لسه موجوع؟.. ولا زعلان بس عشان وقعت؟ طب إيه رأيك أذهب معاك تغسل وشك وتشرب مياه عشان تهدى وترجع تكمل لعب تاني؟ او نعمل كذا مع بعض..."